Dr. Phil says...

OK...so in spite of the title, you would have to hold a gun to my head to watch a whole episode of the Dr. Phil show. Smart guy, but after the Britney Spears incident I was out. But there is something he always says that has been ringing true for me lately..."How's that workin' for ya?" (he also says "all over that like ducks on a June bug", which I think is hilarious, but it doesn't apply here!)

When I embarked on this particular journey to enlightment, inner-peace...the life I always thought was meant for others, it was like every other journey I have ever started. I was gung-ho! Rarin' to go! Make a few adjustments and TA-DA! I'm a new woman. Well, anyone with a clue knows nothing is ever that simple...certainly not changing your life. So, here's where I am now. The TA-DA is over, and I have made some adjustments, but guess what, I'm the same girl in so many ways. I have a different attitude about many things, but doubt still exists. Imagine!

One of my biggest character flaws (according to me, at least!) has always been my lack something I like to call "STICKTUITIVENESS". I love it because it's not a real word, but it's fun to say. It's not necessarily a good way to live one's live though. I have started a million and one things with world-class gusto and quit them with world-class laziness over the years. When the going gets tough, I get excited about something completely different! I'm talking everything from Girl Guides to flute lessons to business and even to marriage. When I took up figure skating at the tender age of 21 I thought it was a dream come true! I wasn't going to become an athlete, but I would learn the basics and skate forever! That lasted about 8 months! When I took up painting at 35, I painted hundreds of sheets of the same stroke, over and over just to learn how the brushes and colours worked. I painted for hours and hours just to produce splashes of paint that I could recognize as something! That actually lasted a few years...I haven't touched a paint brush in over a year. Acting was going to be HUGE! I haven't done that in two years...I won't go on...you probably get the picture.

So, here I am in the midst of all of this change. It's a change that I have initiated and one that I started with all the gusto I used in all of those other challenges. This was it! The very thing! I'd been looking for this all my life! So off I go, tell the world I am a new woman and my life is really beginning at 40 just as I suspected! And then the ghosts of non-STICKTUITIVENESS come to haunt. Following through is just not the way I do things. STOP! ENOUGH ALREADY!

As Dr. Phil would say, "How's that workin' for ya?" Well, the first 40 years of my life have been pretty good, but I haven't stayed with anything in all that time...except maybe for breathing. I've heard it said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Well I am living proof that it doesn't work. If I expect to change, I have to change the way I think. If I can't stick to anything, how can I change my life. If I give up on this too, how am I going to make my life any better, learn to love more, grow spiritually and intellectually and earn the lifestyle I know I am worth??? I can't, right? It took 40 years to prove it, what more evidence do I need.

So I am sticking to it! Oddly enough, it's not as easy as it seemed at first, but anything worth having is worth working for, right?! And what could be more worth it than a full life that I love instead of one that is just o.k.? So I'm sticking to it. I am surrounding myself with the glue I need: supportive friends, prosperity-minded, positive people and the inspirational books that have become so important to keeping me on track. Change isn't easy. If it were, people would do it all the time. Maybe I would have done it years ago. But I am doing it now. And I have to remind myself how hard I have worked to get this far, and how much higher the quality of my life is. Turning back now seems a lot like quitting. It took 40 years (o.k. ALMOST 41) for me to develop my STICKTUITIVENESS gene, I'm not stopping now!