In Search of Balance

No clever title, no musical reference, not even a smiley face...just the truth. How on earth does one find balance?

Remember when we were kids and learning to stand on one foot or on your head was so fun? And learning to ride a bike or skate? We didn't even know what we were doing, but ultimately we were looking for a way to balance.

Later, when I started teaching fitness, I talked a lot about balance, and how having it can save your life. Not only does practicing physical balance strengthen your core, but it can keep you on your feet when a fall could be devastating.

But how often to we think about life balance. I think about it all the time lately, and I am quickly learning the answers can be hard to find.

I recently read something very interesting (which I will probably mis-quote, since I am famous for that!). It went something like this...when an eagle loses a feather on it's right wing, it sheds one on it's left wing for the sake of balance. Powerful.

My journey thus far has brought me more joy than I imagined it would when I began. My heart is so full of love, sometimes it feels like it will burst. I feel like there's a ball of light in the centre of my body that never goes out. It's amazing, and I want more.

The difficulty though is balance.

I am currently working my day job which drags me out of bed before 4 every morning. (some days not much before 4, but that's irrelevant!) It's a wonderful job that I share with a group of amazing people. We have so much fun that some days I think it should be illegal. When your co-workers are some of your favourite people in the world, it sure makes it easier not to beat the hell our of your alarm clock every day!

Add to this my new business which I love so much it's almost hard to articulate!

The balance problem is this. I am almost ALWAYS doing one or the other. And even though I love them both, it doesn't leave time for much else. And I am losing my patience for things outside this little workaholic box I live in! (by the way, if I'm a workaholic, does that mean I drink too much workahol? Never mind...) If people aren't on the same wave length as I am, I sometimes tune out. My mind is always working, and I haven't learned how to set it aside long enough to enjoy myself. I can't let my phone go to voice mail long enough to enjoy an evening with my love or my family!!!

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think I have turned into a curmudgeon just yet. But I am actively seeking this balance before that happens! I need to be able to share this happiness I feel with everyone without putting up any walls, and I haven't figured out how to do that yet. I need to learn to relax and enjoy the things that are happening in my life. There are so many roses out there and I want to learn to smell as many of them as I can. Patience is not a virtue I possess, so if this could all just HAPPEN RIGHT NOW that would be great! :)

I am working toward something great. Toward a time when I will have the freedom to smell more roses. When I will have the financial and time balance to really enjoy everything I am learning. But what if I get hit by a bus tomorrow? How do you live like you were dying when you don't make the time? How do you work to improve tomorrow without missing out on today?

I have so much to learn. And I know that's part of the journey, but I don't like learning...I just want to KNOW. Vulcan mind melt anyone?

Usually these stories come with a nice moral and a bow on top. Not this one. I just hope by putting it into words it will help me recognize what I am striving for and learn to focus on what really matters.

Which brings up a brief backtrack to my last entry. Since I wrote about my STICKTUITIVENESS issues, I find they don't have the same power over me! It's very exciting. This blogging thing is even more powerful than I thought!